(From here)

“The best stories are about small and delicate things,” the writer said. Then the universe exploded.

“With this device I shall change history! The accursed name of Adolf Hitler will be erased from the annals of European painting!”

“Phone me,” her note read. The linguist overlooked the space, was mildly confused, and let another opportunity slip away. 

(Yes, I’m a self-promoting douchebag on the last one.  Sue me.)